It's an unfolding adventure: everydayGRACE

As I was walking into the fitness center to get my days workout in, I sifted through the many fitness and glamour magazines. I could chose from, "How to get a mans attention in a week," and, "The new look of Fall for under $20!". They all were the same. I grabbed the one that looked the least provacative and proceeded to the bike. I flipped through the many photoshopped ads of the "perfect" women selling who knows what product. As I began to read the magazine I thought to myself, "Why am I reading this? This is full of everything I am not." With that I put the magazine down and began to think of who I was.
Everyday I get more and more of a glimps of my calling. The more I see and hear, the more I understand I was not born to sit still and not make a difference in this world. I was not made for a 9 to 5 job, yet a 24/7 one that involves a lot of people, heart and Christ. I was created to heal the sick, pray for the weary, bring Christ to the lost, speak life to the nations, feed the hungry, and let God's glory shine from my spirit. This is the Kristina Schnepf who the Lord, my God, created. So, as I am fully engaged in this equipping time, may I be patient and be blessed [empowered] now. Also, may the Lord ever speak to you on your specific purpose for life in this crazy world. Hear it and do it.

My heart is slowly breaking... Heartbreak.
My heart is painfully aching... Heartache.
My heart is often crying... Heart cry.
My heart is pounding vigorously... Heartbeat.
My heart is immensely hurting... Heart throb.
Will my heart ever mend? Heart Attack.
Jesus, Jesus.. Oh how I need you. How I need you to unbreak, unache, hear the cries, soften the beat, ease the throbbing, stop the attack of my little heart.

I'm all a mess. I'm feeling a heartbreak. I've only ever experienced this with a death in the family and from a past boyfriend. I've grieved over a dear friend. It hurts so bad. I'm feeling what his family is feeling; what he is feeling about the lies spoken to him. Lies that were blasted into thousands ears. Lies. Lies. LIES! My dear one's life was at the hands of a human, to be judged. Lord, work your Glory in this. Make something divine out of this!

Grieved. That's how I feel.

I am not someone who does well with "goodbyes". One would think I would have grown accustomed to them seeings that I am sort of in the business of parting with friends. As a full time missionary I'm constantly saying goodbye to some deep and treasured friends. But I still get emotional over going separate ways with the ones I love so dear. It is now, I see that in 6 days, I will be saying goodbye to one of those dearly loved ones. But there is a lot of sweetness in this goodbye. As I say goodbye to Amy Reece forever, I will be joyfully saying hello to a brand new person, Amy Spahr. I was just thinking of her this afternoon and her fiance Cody. Marriage changes everyhing! But what a great new beginning. They both found someone so perfect to start a new life with. I can't wait to be apart of the journey:)

In other news... Polkadot, the newest addition to my fish tank, has taken well to her new surroundings and tankmate, Bubble Fish. She is the replacement of Cutie Fish, who passed away last Tuesday due to shock during an adoption process. Cutie Fish was survived by Bubble Fish, a gold fish with large bubbles on her cheeks, and her owner, Zoe Vengala, 5 years old. Having the new fish here in my room is great entertainment and decor. The adoption had been initiated by Zoe mother, who had grown annoyed with taking care of the fish. Zoe also got hampsters and put the fish last on her mind. I think now everyone is happy. Lets just hope Polkadot doesnt pop one of Bubble Fish's bubbles, because from what I observe, Bubble Fish has some fistiness in her. Although that would make for a great blog!!

Hello! Here I am. My first entry on my new blog. What do I say? Where do I begin? I guess I will start with today. It is Monday, and though I prayed this morning about it not turning out to be a stereotypical Monday, it did. Whatever. There is this "D" word that I'm trying to cram into my hectic life. This would be discipline. Yeah, I found out a few weeks ago that I'm desperately lacking it. I'm using the Bible to help cheer me on. Its not easy, this discipline thing. It's like giving yourself daily "spankings". My first step, or second and third, is to wake up earlier, and start off my day with exercise and a solid quiet time. I've been doing this for two weeks, this being my third. It's a little hard, and I find myself trying to squeeze in a 20 minute power nap in my day. But the greatest thing is that my quiet times with the Lord are booming with revelation! I can't see how anyone does not believe in this loud, ever-speaking God. His voice is in everything! His Holy Spirit piercing through the eyes of children. He is everywhere!!! Today at the gym I was reading a US Weekly. I was appalled when I read an article about this group of people on the Internet who flat out deny the existence of the Holy Spirit. Its called Blasphemy.com or something close to that. My heart sank to my bottom as I read about these people who are so blinded by this world. There really needs to be a release of more missionaries in the US. More people who are free from the bondage in this world and who have a passion to see everyone free from its disgusting snares. I could go on for days, so I will end with this... God is Love. Therefore there is nothing you can do to make Him love you more. There is also nothing you can do to make him love you less. He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you! I think I need to incorporate this into my discipline somehow.